Dan asked us this week "What inspires you?" and I couldn't think of something right away, so I started a list. One of the things I came up with that inspires me was driving and singing in the car by myself. Well, I don't usually get the chance to do that and if I do, it's mainly for a quick errand like to the grocery store late at night after I've got the kids in bed (so hubby doesn't have to try to do that). But, an unexpected opportunity came up today for me to take a road trip...to make a short story long, my grandpa has been in the hospital and is now in hospice. My mom doesn't drive and wanted to go be with him again (she just got home yesterday, riding back with my uncle and aunt) so I drove her the 2 hours to get there. And, since she was staying until tomorrow, I had the 2 hours back to myself.
It was a little different from my usual 'inspiring' time alone when I reflect on what is happening in my life right now, what I need to improve on, what I need to stop doing, etc. The cloak of death hung over my thoughts as I sang along with the music and watched the scenery go by. Soon, everything had a clearer, deeper meaning...even the graceful flight of a field hawk in the air moved me. Needless to say, the Kleenex box was close by so I didn't have to get in an accident to reach for the tissues!! haha
At one point I thought about how I'm raising my kids - am I raising them to want to come take care of me someday when I'm old and dying? The studying and memorizing of Proverbs 31 I've done lately came to mind along with other verses in Proverbs...about building up or tearing down your 'house'. I need to be better about building up, especially with my words. I also thought about how often, and how easily, the little things of life become so big. WHY do we worry so and fret about things that just don't matter?? Maybe I'm the only one that does this...but, I'm guessing not. :) It's easy to get caught up in the 'tyranny of the urgent' instead of focusing on the eternal in all we do.
I didn't have the cd with me, but thought about the words to Jim Cowan's "When It's All Been Said and Done"....(as done by Robin Mark, my favorite version - I suppose it has something to do with my being a flute player tee hee)
When it's all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters
Did I do my best to live for truth?
Did I live my life for You?
When it's all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I've done
For love's reward
Will stand the test of time
Lord, Your mercy is so great
That You look beyond our weakness
That You found purest gold in miry clay
Turning sinners into saints
I will always sing Your praise
Here on earth and in heaven after
For You've shown me heaven's my true home
When it's all been said and done
You're my life when life is gone.
When it's all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters
Did I do my best to live for truth?
Did I live my life for You?
Lord I'll live my life for You.
So, obviously I've gotten some wind in my sails this week - which could be considered bad because of the reason for my trip (my grandpa's impending death) but also good, because this element is an area of weakness for me. I need to follow Dan's advice about scheduling some regular 'wind' time...time to inspire and move my soul to continue living my life for my awesome God! Lastly, to remind myself of Dan's story of his friend manuevering the sails and being expertly trained to do so, I've added the picture below to my desktop as a visual cue to remember to pursue my 'sailing training'...to continue growing in God's Word, being diligent and obedient to His commands, so I can expertly manuever through the trials of life by finding the wind I need to give power to my sails.
